2002-06-26
6:01 p.m.

I need to remember this feeling. I just talked to JP, and he made me feel better about a lot of things. We shared a connection, and some special moments of truth with one another that I really needed. JP always says the right thing to make me feel better. He and John are good substitutes for Howie, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that if I let them, they can be even better for me, because I don't have to let them rule my life, as I did with Howie.

It's a beautiful thing to truly be able to open up about everything that you are, everything that you feel, and have people still love you anyway in the end. I will not let this whole thing bring me down. I will allow it to bring me up, into the person I am trying so desperately to become.

Sathya lent me the Vanessa Carlton CD "Be Not Nobody" and I'm listening to it at the moment, falling in love. Simply beautiful.