2003-07-30
1:52 a.m.

"They'd see all of it, all of me, all of it. All of the good that won't come out of me and all the stupid lies I hide behind. It's such a big mistake, lying here in your warm embrace." ~Rilo Kiley, "The Good That Won’t Come Out"

I am talking to Meri again. She made me feel a bit better about stuff tonight, and she's actually reading now. Wow. It's "awesome" as Sathya said. I want to read the book "Origins" that Meri was telling me about tonight.

Meri made me realize something important tonight. Or maybe I had forgotten, and she reminded me. Here's what I wrote about it:

I was talking Meri tonight and she reminded me of something important. I may be disabled. I may be an emotional wreck. I may have a severe case of self-loathing, but this is not all that I am. I am also patient, accepting of others, creative, kind, and thoughtful. Sometimes, I think we let the dark encompass us, and we lose ourselves inside of it. We forget all of the good. Like the song "The Good That Won't Come Out" by Rilo Kiley. I do this all the time. I am a very black/white person, and I forget the gray area. I'm not saying that everything is all peaches and cream now, but Meri made me want to discover the gray.